When someone asks me, “How are you?” I sometimes . . . occasionally . . . not that often . . . reply, “I’m awesome!” As their surprise at my response settles on their face, I continue. “That’s my opinion. You’re entitled to your own opinion, but don’t feel obligated to share it with me.” We share a laugh. We may touch each other, perhaps lightly on the shoulder or arm, or share a hug. We always walk away, smiling.
This momentary sharing is always fun.
The truth is that most days I’m pretty awesome (in my opinion) — independent of physical feelings or circumstances or schedules or accomplishments or challenges. How I am, is separate from all my stuff.
I don’t know exactly when I came to this understanding; it probably evolved over many decades. Or maybe I finally believed what my parents told me as a child. Like Mr. Rogers, they said, “You are fine, just the way you are.” They knew, and I knew, there was room for improvement. I wasn’t particularly happy with my child self, but at my core I believed I was loved — no matter what.
It often takes us years to grow into that understanding of unconditional love. Some of us have never experienced it in our families or in our relationships. But even with that, it’s possible to learn to love ourselves, to accept ourselves as we are, and believe we are good enough.
If you’re a regular reader of this blog, you know I always have improvement projects going one — I can’t help it. It’s just who I am.
But beneath that personal necessity (to always become better) I am content — even if I made no changes.
The question becomes — for all of us — who are we at our very foundation? What does our bedrock look like? What forms our foundation?
So, of course, I have questions for you:
- Did you choose your foundational rocks or were they put there by someone else?
- Is your foundation solid or does it shift with the tides, the opinions of others, or your own uncertainty?
- Is your foundation made of old, old rocks or have you laid some new ones?
- Is your foundation some long standing structure that has served it’s usefulness, that needs to be removed, so new foundation rocks can be put in place?
- What would it take for your foundation to be secure, no matter the storms that come your way? Because the storms will come . . .
Here are a few suggestions for improving your foundation:
Yes, it requires awareness, intention, and work. Create the best foundation to support your growth into teetotal awesomeness.
Until next Tuesday . . .