Sometimes it’s easy to get our tasks accomplished and/or pursue our passions. Sometimes, it’s not so easy.
Lately, I’ve been struggling to do the things I really want to do — those things I consider a priority: practicing piano, reading, writing, knitting.
The questions I’m asking myself:
- Have I gotten off the rails, off track, lost my sense of direction and purpose?
- Am I stalled but still on the tracks, with an inability to choose differently?
- Am I totally off the tracks?
- What caused the problem?
- How do I get back on the rails — assuming that’s the direction I want to continue?
If I’m on the tracks but stalled . . .
- How do I refuel an engine that’s been idle for several weeks?
- How do I prevent a fuel shortage in the future?
- Do I need to look for new tracks?
I’ve wrestled with this dilemma for a few weeks. Traveling and being out of my routine for several weeks, plus lagging energy, are the primary culprits.
Last night the solution began to arrive: make a small decision and “just do it” as the Nike ads say. You see, I’ve not been deciding. Sometimes it’s easier “not to decide” which, in itself, is a decision. Enjoying the momentary comforts and pleasures and relaxation is easiest — the tasks will wait until I’m ready.
Clarity was emerging from the fog: Lack of decision is the problem. It’s not enough to acknowledge my need to practice piano. I must decide to put my butt on the bench and fingers on the keys and begin the work. Limiting the time will make the starting easier. I know from past experience that starting is the hardest moment for me. Once I’m started I’m good for a purposeful time.
Real wisdom came from a Facebook posting this morning:
Right or wrong,
make a decision.
The road of life
is paved with
make a decision.
“Yes,” I said to myself, “decisions are the issue. To not decide is to be dead — on the tracks, on the road, in place. Others will pass by, glance at my body, and say, ‘she didn’t make it!’ By then, I can’t even say that for myself. But recently I’ve been on the way to saying, ‘I won’t make it because I’m not deciding to move forward.'”
Today, I am choosing. I’ll set my sails to catch the breeze. I’ll give my energy to the task at hand. I’m deciding — to put butt in chair to write, to put butt on bench to practice, to begin a new book on my summer patio, and to pick up my knitting which has been left untouched for weeks.
Today I am choosing — only for today. After today, choosing for tomorrow will be a bit easier I think.
I hope you choose — to not be a flat squirrel because you are indecisive.
Road kill — it’s not a pretty sight.
Until next Tuesday . . .